This time IS going to be different. I have been feeling flicks and flutters lately which are so wonderful and reassuring- way more movement than I ever felt with Daniel. I am trying my best to think positive, happy thoughts. I go to yoga. I pray more than I ever have. I trust God that He is protecting this baby and answering our prayers with a "Yes!". I believe Daniel is the best guardian angel his little brother or sister could ask for. I believe in the power of intercessory prayer through the Blessed Mother and St. Gerard (the Patron Saint of Expectant Mothers). It is still difficult, though. There is that bit of fear that is creeping in….a shield that I don't want to completely take down because I am scared. In addition to the anxiety over this particular ultrasound for this new baby, it is hard to have all of the painful memories from May 15th come rushing back. I tried to make the things I could control, different. May 15th was a Tuesday and our appointment was in the afternoon. This time, the ultrasound is scheduled for December 12th, a Wednesday, in the morning. I was 19 weeks 2 days the day of Daniel's ultrasound. I will be 19 weeks 5 days with this baby.
The time seems to be going by fast, at least. I think part of that has to do with the fact that I haven't made any big announcements, so I don't have people constantly throughout the work day asking me about my pregnancy. Well-meaning, I'm sure, but just not talking about it seems to make the time go by a lot faster! Plus, the first half of the school year always seems to fly by and the second half drags. I think that has something to do with it, too. Hopefully the next 21 weeks will go by just as quick because I am excited to meet this little baby, healthy and alive in my arms! It WILL happen!!!
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